Happy Friday! A few things to share today because it’s been like…three weeks? Nonetheless, a hot minute.
So the good news is: February has ended. The miserable month is officially over. March is here. New month, new attitude. Live it. Own it. Be it. There are now two months and eleven—maybe twelve—days before graduation. Ending undergrad studies…thrilling. Facing the great, big world beyond…not so much.
Grad decisions are in. I was never officially accepted into a PhD program, but I did receive admissions into the MA programs at UGA and UF. Obviously, I am partial to UGA. I have got friends there, my research interests are shared by the faculty, and the program at UGA is ranked higher than UF. Of course, I show a bit of favoritism. What is not great about this is the lack of funding. I was one of eleven students admitted into the grad program (Although, I am unsure about whether that is for MA or PhD or for the program generally.) and my GRE scores put me on the “second list” for funding. The only way I will receive funding is if someone from the first list decides to forgo UGA. So, I would be eternally grateful for someone to do just that and save me from shuffling out $44,000 (excluding rent, food, gas, and fees) on TWO years of study. Unfortunately, I will not know if I have the opportunity to receive funding until around April 15th. That is the deadline for admission responses. What is more unfortunate about this is the fact that by April 15th there will likely be no available housing in Athens. Therefore, there is a multitude of problems with this entire affair.
In the midst of this, I have had long meditative sessions with myself on what it is that I am really after. What is the end goal here. The truth is, I do not know. Four years in college, and I still do not know what I want to do. I do know that some part of me wants to discern fact from fiction in government and to educate others on this. Education can arise from teaching, researching and publishing, or writing and reporting. That end goal, in and of itself, is ambiguous. I pursued grad school because it bought me more time to decide what I wanted from life. The truth is: I might spend forever not knowing. I might go to grad school, waste $44,000 and two years of my life and still have no idea what I want to do. That is the predicament I am currently drowning in.
My predicament has led me to consider a MAT degree, to teach at a high school. It is considerably cheaper, and I do not risk “over-educating” myself. I have made a few inquiries into the program, while I nervously await word from UGA.
Meanwhile, I also focus on grades…to graduate…in May. So, there are about a thousand problems and no clear solutions. However, here’s to figuring this all out. Soon. And being as positive about it as possible.